i’m not quite sure how this happened but i made threeofeight write me a parody bering and wells fanfic and i did a dramatic recording and i can’t stop laughing please send medical assistance
Once upon a time there was this really famous space pirate robot, who unfortunately had been turned into a vampire on a space adventure. Luckily space was pretty dark so apart from not looking out the windows when passing system suns, she lived a full and piratey undead life. One day she came upon a space bookstore owner who was hitchhiking to the nearest galaxy and decided to give the travelling woman a lift.
"My ship may be big but I only have one room" The OAP robot lamented after settling the strange but very attractive woman in.
"That is ok. I don’t mind sharing" The space book seller perkily quipped.
The walk to the room was slow, mainly because the turbolifts were down but also because of the raw unspoken sexual attraction that was making the air quite literally thick.
Upon getting to the room the woman with the hair (that could only be so shiny from unicorn tears) pulled the woman with the bouncing ringlets to her. The curly haired taller woman with the hair that smelled of strawberries leaned in closer. So close that there was no space between her and the centenarian robot. It was as if they were one person.
"Is that an antiquated device in your pocket? Or are you just happy to see me?" The younger bookstore owner whispered sensually. Closing the already impossibly close distance closer still. Suddenly the straight haired vampire inventor pulled back.
"Antiquated device! I’ll have you know it wasn’t old fashioned when I made it"
Before the elder authory vampire robot could say another word the woman with the hair that now suddenly smelled of apples kissed her with such passion she was sure the nearby suns died out in jealousy. The gross english titty vampire pulled back and looked at the bookish younger woman with such hunger in her eyes the curly haired woman couldn’t help but gasp.
"I want you" the inventor, author, totally victorian looking woman rasped.
"Then take me" the space giraffe princess replied.
The living dead cyborg stripped the taller woman’s clothes off in one swell swoop. Leaning in slowly she sensually whispered.
"Whoops. My hand slipped into your vagina"
how fucking painful is it to see that self-satisfied smirk on Helena’s face in For the Team,when she was so sure her plan was going to work, she was out of Bronze and knew more than the people who didn’t even know they shoudl be chasing her, and she was feeling that crescendo she hadn’t felt for so long before consigning herself to a self-chosen out-of-time prison, and had felt so seldom in her own century anyway — very few of the men or women she’d taken to bed could come close, to what this Agent Bering was providing Helena —, the brilliant and confident and stunningly beautiful Agent Bering was going to prove to be such a challenge and pleasure., But Helena’s not in control and she tries to end the world, and Myka becomes so much more than a conquest, becomes her tether, to a world she’s not fully in, and the look in Myka’s eyes is no longer that mix of indignation and interest, but includes pity and disappointment (and self-recrimination), (and how hard is it to know that when the look is one of love that neither of them will know that it happened?), and the last look that Helena sees? As Emily Lake? is the one Myka gives her as she lets Helena run away by staying, So For the Team? Helena followed Myka when all that was at stake was some flirting and eventually the world;, in Instinct when she doesn’t follow Myka? there was so much more at stake., Bering and Wells, and Helena knowing she wobn’t be satisfied as Emily but not knowing how to get back to HG,
GFDI TYPEY YOU ASSHOLE.
“So shoot me! Shoot me now. Kill me. But not like that. Not like a coward. I want you to look me in the eyes and take my life!”
“Helena, listen to me. I am not going to die here, okay? Because you are going to take a breath and you’re going to save my life.”
"Warehouse 13" has given us a pairing that stirs our souls.
Hey its that thing we were waiting for!!
ETA: YES. THIS. (No really that’s all I have to add)
Title: Against All Odds
Fandom: Warehouse 13
Pairing: Bering and Wells
Word Count: 14,899
Disclaimer: Warehouse 13, the world and the characters that inhabit it do not belong to me in any way, though sometimes I lie awake at night wishing that they did and what I’d do with them if they did. And then I write those thoughts down.
Summary: When Mrs Frederic sends H.G. on her way with the astrolabe, she also sends her off with very explicit instructions. But Helena’s never been all that good at following orders.
A/N: Right then, here it is. The smut that would not end has finally found the finish line. I don’t usually ask for people to leave reviews or anything, but this fic has been kicking my backside for months now (actual months. I mean, I started it when the episode aired!) and I’d really love to know what you think. So even if you just drop me a private message or something, it would really mean a lot.
i was just guessing
at numbers and figures
pulling your puzzles apart